New Athlete Discovered During the Corona Pandemic

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    During this long pandemic, it is clear that the Corona virus has taken its toll on people. It has affected people's daily lives and activities, especially students. With the new online zoom classes, schools have seen drops in both attendance and grades in all classes except one. Gym class performance has absolutely sky rocketed in most schools in our area. With the gym class's new innovative "turn off your camera to go running and then tell the teacher what your mile time is" technology, every single student has somehow beaten their past mile times. One student in particular has completely shattered his school's running records. Owen, A.K.A "The 400 Pound Machine" has gone from a 40 minute mile time last year, to running a mile in 2 minutes! He now holds the record time for his school, receiving countless medals for this feat. Owen is making headlines, getting countless interviews from the news and recognition from athletes around the world. When asked how he transformed into a top runner so fast, Owen simply answers "I went on a diet". While this is hard to believe as he still is built like a bowling ball, we have no choice but to believe him as the numbers speak for themselves. He has received invitations to work out with both Lebron James and James Harden, but unfortunately can't make them because he is "walking the dog those days". He also received an invitation to be the new track team captain, but he couldn't accept that either as he "hurt his funny bone" and can't compete. While it is saddening we can not see this absolute beast of an athlete participate in these activities, it is still great to know that we have such an inspiration in our schools.

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